The Year of the Growth Mindset
- 2 days ago
- 3 min read
"Because challenges are ubiquitous, resilience is essential for success in school and in life. ... We show that students who believe (or are taught) that intellectual abilities are qualities that can be developed (as opposed to qualities that are fixed) tend to show higher achievement across challenging school transitions and greater course completion rates in challenging math courses. New research also shows that believing (or being taught) that social attributes can be developed can lower adolescents’ aggression and stress in response to peer victimization or exclusion, and result in enhanced school performance." (Yeager et. al. 2012)
As parents, we all want our children to succeed. We want them to be happy, confident, resilient, and capable of handling life's inevitable challenges. One of the most important lessons we can teach them has nothing to do with grades, sports, or extracurricular activities. It has to do with how they think about themselves.
More than a decade ago, psychologist Carol Dweck introduced the concept of the growth mindset. Her research demonstrated that children generally approach challenges from one of two perspectives.
A child with a fixed mindset believes that intelligence, talent, athletic ability, and success are largely predetermined. If they struggle, they may conclude, "I'm just not good at this."
A child with a growth mindset sees challenges differently. They believe abilities can improve through effort, practice, persistence, and learning. When faced with difficulty, they are more likely to think, "I haven't mastered this yet."
That one small word, yet, can change everything.
Children with growth mindsets tend to take on more difficult tasks, persist longer when things get hard, and recover more quickly from setbacks. They are less likely to view mistakes as evidence of failure and more likely to view them as information that helps guide improvement.
Think about learning to ride a bike, playing an instrument, solving a difficult math problem, or making a sports team. Success rarely comes immediately. Progress comes through repeated attempts, mistakes, adjustments, and perseverance.
In my own life, some of the most valuable lessons have come from moments when I was not prepared, not successful, or simply failed. Failure is rarely enjoyable in the moment, but it is often an extraordinary teacher. Every setback contains information about what to do differently next time.
As parents, our job is not to remove every obstacle from our children's path. Our job is to help them develop the confidence to navigate obstacles themselves.
So how do we cultivate a growth mindset at home? (From Mindset - Dweck C.)
1. Praise Effort More Than Talent
Instead of saying:
"You're so smart."
Try:
"You worked really hard on that."
"I noticed how persistent you were."
"You didn't give up when it got difficult."
Children begin to value the process rather than relying solely on natural ability.
2. Praise Strategy
Success is rarely about effort alone. It is often about finding a better approach.
Ask questions such as:
"What strategy worked?"
"What did you do differently this time?"
"How did you figure that out?"
These conversations teach children to become problem-solvers rather than simply outcome-seekers.
3. Reframe Failure
Failure is not the opposite of success. Failure is often part of success.
When children struggle, resist the urge to immediately rescue them.
Instead ask:
"What did you learn?"
"What would you try differently next time?"
"What's your next move?"
Every challenge becomes an opportunity to improve.
4. Let Them Struggle
This may be the hardest parenting skill of all.
Watching our children struggle can be uncomfortable. Yet growth often occurs at the edge of difficulty.
A child who never struggles never learns perseverance.
A child who overcomes challenges develops confidence that cannot be given, it must be earned.
5. Focus on Long-Term Goals
Children who understand the purpose behind their efforts are more willing to work through obstacles.
Whether the goal is making a team, mastering an instrument, earning a grade, or becoming a better friend, meaningful goals help children tolerate temporary discomfort in pursuit of something larger.
6. Use the Power of "Yet"
When your child says:
"I can't do this."
Add one word:
"Yet."
"I can't do this yet."
That simple shift transforms a dead end into a pathway.
The Take-Home Message
Life will present every child with challenges. They will experience disappointment, frustration, mistakes, and failure. We cannot prevent those moments, nor should we.
What we can do is help our children develop the belief that growth is always possible.
The goal is not perfection.
The goal is progress. (Dweck C. 2019)
Children who learn to embrace challenges, persist through difficulty, and learn from failure develop something far more valuable than talent alone. They develop resilience.
And resilience may be one of the greatest gifts we can give them.
Dr. M
Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset. New York, NY: Random House.
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